Funny Quotes
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Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
- Anonymous.
A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation
- Unknown.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- Bob Hope
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
- Groucho Marx.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
- Noelie Altito.
To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times.
- Mark Twain.
If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.
- Tommy Lasorda
Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's drunken 16-year-old daughter on your lap.
- Anonymous member of a chain gang.
I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
- George Bush.
Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?
- Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes.
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